Since October 2019, I've been off social media for close to 5 years. Upon return in February 2024, I noticed the same reasons & issues that I left for such a long time were still occurring. I thought gee you know.... I’ve changed, My music has evolved, and I grew but the response and plight I endure on behalf of my musical efforts hasn’t. That’s when I made the realization that I have thousands of followers and no audience / support for my music. Perhaps to scrounge my content and for my personal attributes but not for my music which is the only reason I use social media.
Let’s not even dwell on the 1500 bot & spam accounts I hand removed which gave the illusion of a larger following. Let’s talk about the actual people at the fore front & the pathological behavior I receive in reaction toward my content & musical efforts from this particular grouping of people on my Instagram.
50 + people looking for me in a singular post but I receive 0 streams on my latest music release.
Weirdos asking me if I still make music while my new song is literally playing on the post they commented on...
DJs in my DM trying to conversate with me about anything except playing my music
Zombies rather watch a 15 sec low quality video of myself for 2.7 hours rather than go 3 clicks away to listen to the 3 minute song....
100+ people view a story of me asking to be tagged in a festival post to perform at and only 3 people tag me out of their own free will to name a few
These issues wouldn't be such a huge diciding factor for me to stop using social media for my music if the support, listeners, or positive aspect of doing music weighed up against the bs but it never does.
Some may say be consistent but at what cost? What cost do I sustain this “consistency method” Misplaced time, fragmented attention span, emotional instability, mental health, & overall well-being is at a high risk for a low reward of bot followers, superficial interactions, and abnormal engagements to say a few. It doesn't make sense to post and perform for a overwhelming majority of an audience that is there for my image and not my music.
I performed less labor at my last place of employment for a paycheck than I do making content for a following that has no interest in my music. I experience stimuli on the app that cause low vibratory emotions that don’t exist in my actual reality / day to day life.
From a business perspective this has become a negative ROI. I can not afford the customer acquisition costs of time, labor, emotional stability and mental clarity by marketing / promoting my music to my IG followers.
I've been told this response is normal for female rappers.... Although no one deserves sexual harassment, There is a difference between
1) Selling and advertising sexual content and then having people respond to the advertisement vs
2) The pathological response of deducing woman showcasing talent while carrying themselves with self awareness and boundaries to pin up posters to fantasize about and stare at on a social media feed.
Another gripe I realized is the Surveillance Infiltration Impeding the natural process of making music / digital art / creation. Why do I have to show what I’m eating, what I’m doing 247 to get listeners for my music? or to stay relevant to my followers? The answer is I do not and I will not continue as it never worked for my music anyway.
I've come to terms that social media is not working for my music because people are way to focused on me personally : how I look, what I'm wearing, where I'm at, what I'm doing, where I live, where I've beenc etc. to the point my music falls to the way side. People see me and my music become inaudible as they fall into a stupor and gawk at me. My music doesn't deserve that. I've become aware of the stifling mirage of likes and comments not equivocating to genuine support and listeners to my music. I began thinking about other formats and formalities of engaging with other forms of media. When you watch a movie in a movie theater you have to pay time, attention, and money to formulate an opinion upon said source of media, When you watch the news, you have no means to ask the news caster what size bra she wears or any other obscene commentary that has nothing to do with the information being delivered.
I now understand that most of my following don’t follow for my music, There's people from my middle school, high school, and etc. that follow me, but my music is the sole source of me posting on social media. I’ve posted new music and content related to my social absence and I have people asking me where I’ve been on videos of me talking about where I’ve been???? That’s because what they're looking for, no longer and doesn’t exist in me, they're looking for a memory, looking for a fulfilled fantasy, looking for a conversation, looking for a relationship and I can not give that to them. The girl they remember from childhood no longer exists, the girl they were sexually attracted to is no longer available.
No amount of likes, comments dms are going to justify 0 streams / plays on my new music after 50+ people asking about my where abouts on one post and hundreds of DMs inquiring about my where abouts. This is my individual truth and experience of pursuing music through social media independently. I’m no longer allowing my past to run concurrent with my present and seep through my future. I took my music off streaming platforms and I will not be using social media / instagram for my music or personally.
I want to make it clear that I’m not going to stop making music, I never stopped. But what I am going to do is reach the genuine audience for my music that I know exist.